My recent interview conducted by Brynn Summers (Hannah Steadman)

The following post was written by Hannah Steadman (under her pseodonym Brynn Summers). Yes, it’s entirely her fabrication (although what’s mine is in brackets–my commentary on my own interview). Notice how smart she makes me sound . . . definitely not me ( I don’t even know what half of it means). Thank you, Hannah . . er Brynn. It really would be fabulous to have the ability to plug a USB into my brain . . . it would certainly save on homework time. Enjoy.

The nation-renowned syndicate writer, Brynn Summers, interviewed Miss Laura Beth Kirsop at her private residence in the luxurious condos of Nell Sunday Dr. The interview revolved around the idea of how Miss Kirsop applied the common USB not for her laptop’s memory but for her mental memory. Below is the recorded transcript:

Summers: “Miss Kirsop, why do you see the need of using a USB for memory storage?”

Kirsop: “My college courses necessitate a copious amount of information that I cannot keep cached all at one moment in time. The amount is cosmic, unprecedented, monumental, and impassable!”

[LB here–yes this is exactly what I must have said . . . although I haven’t a clue as to what all that means, i most certainly meant it]

Summers: “How do you use the USB?”

Kirsop: “I plug the USB into my brain and my recording apparatus transmits my mental reverberations into notations and then types my information into a word document.”

[it’s comfortable, I promise]

Summers: “Has such a device been used before?”

Kirsop: “Never! It was constituted for me by an acquaintance of mine. I am tabulated as a gifted exceptional learner. Since I can process material so much faster than I type, I merely give voice to my thoughts and let the machine manufacture my enigmas.”

[mmmMMmm . . .]

Summers: “Fascinating! Do you believe more people should use this kind of USB database?”

Kirsop: “Only if they can truly require it, otherwise it would be a meaningless dissipation on a mass culture that already has too many gadgets that they cannot employ.”

[I would assume that this should be taken into careful consideration]

Summers: “What things personally do you need to put on the USB for memory storage?”

Kirsop: “I normally create my performances in that manner. My newest masterpiece, Riflessioni sull’umanità, was written solely through this procedure. This Italian play converges on a suicidal girl who meditates on the fate of all humanity. The narrative delves into the realm of her subconscious processes to improve understanding for how humans evaluate moral values before reaching a verdict. It ends disastrously, of course, with the girl taking her own life, but leaves the audience quizzical about their own subconscious suppositions.”

[Not sure . . .I’m checking with Google . . . Google isn’t sure either]

Summers: “I’m sure that will be a scintillating performance to watch. Thank you so much for your time, Miss Kirsop. We of [nation-renowned
syndicate] congratulate you on this new level of your career. We wish you all the best in the future. Good night.”

[Goodnight, and you are MOST welcome]


One thought on “My recent interview conducted by Brynn Summers (Hannah Steadman)

  1. Pingback: Check out: Coffee Shop Thinking « idiom "ingenuity"

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